Comments on: Saying Yes to Things We Don’t Really Want: Are We Doing Anyone a Favor?

By: Dave W.

Dave W. — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:29:25 +0000

Jay and Pace,
Thanks for your thoughtful responses. Jay, you also bring in another interesting consideration – where I was talking about things that we know (or are pretty sure) we don’t want, you also consider the case where we’re faced with something that we haven’t really decided upon yet. How do we explore new things to expand our horizons, while respecting our other values that may include things like minimizing waste?
Pace, I do like the Seth Godin article, and can really relate to that. As for the relationship piece, I’ve also been there a number of times; and I also find it to be an ongoing process. I’ll be excited to hear how the types of people you connect with, as well as your existing relationships, change as you continue to increase authenticity.

By: Pace

Pace — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:37:47 +0000

Hi Dave, Seth Godin posted today about standing up for what you believe in, and it reminded me of this post because it's also about saying no even when it's difficult. He's talking about something similar, but he's talking about it from a marketing angle instead of from a personal integrity and usefulness angle.

By: Pace

Pace — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:55:23 +0000

Dave,

The way this usually comes up for me is in friendships and other sorts of relationships. I get into an awkward situation, the relationship deteriorates and becomes strained, but I continue to say “yes” because I’m afraid of conflict.

Amusingly, it often happens that the other person is feeling the same way, and if either one of us would face our social anxiety and have that awkward conversation, it would relieve the pressure for both of us.

I’m working on being more authentic in my relationships (of all kinds) and not giving into fear or social anxiety. It’s an ongoing process. (:

By: Jay

Jay — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:39:19 +0000

As the other half of the eggroll, this is always a big dilema for me. Do I turn down the food, and then perhaps miss out, on the offchance it has something I don’t like? Do I take the food, find out I don’t like it, and then let it go to waste?

Reading this was very insightful. Really makes me think about it. Even if I did want to take the chance on the eggroll being really good, did I really need extra? The main dish I had ordered sounded (and was) really good. Taking the eggroll seemed almost too much, good or not.

Puts in context what I really need versus what I really want. I’ll definitely be thinking about that next time I order.