Overall, the greatest focus of coaching by far is upon the present and future. However, one of the most powerful exercises I went through during both my own coaching and coach training, in a few different forms, was an assessment of the enjoyable activities in which I’ve engaged since a very early age. This was a much more “macro” version of the behavioral assessments I did with a large leadership consulting firm, where I observed and analyzed the management behaviors of executives across the span of a day, and identified behavioral “trends.”

Slightly different forms of such a self-assessment exercise include the following:

• Identifying “peak experiences,” or specific times when we felt like we were acting from a deeper purpose, were having the most fun, or felt a deep sense of fulfillment. This may also be described as times of experiencing “flow,” or a state of total present-moment absorption in an activity (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990).

• Identifying specific times when we were creating things that were very important to us, to establish a list of items in our “creative core” (Elkin, 2003). Alongside this, it’s helpful to identify WHY we chose to create these things.

• Looking forward to the future, predicting what peak experiences and accomplishments we desire–either through placing them on a “life timeline” spanning our entire life, or by sketching out how we’d like our eulogy to read (Ellis and Lankowitz, 1995).

Such types of self-analysis, especially done with the guidance of a coach (because we all have our blind spots; and note that I’m simplifying the process here), are useful for several reasons:

• It may remind us of activities we once enjoyed, but gave up at some point. These are likely still a part of our “core,” and if we’ve attempted to push them aside, they may continue to compete for our energy. By identifying and honestly acknowledging these parts of ourselves, we may live more powerfully.

• Through asking ourselves the proper questions, our collection of past and desired peak experiences and creations may yield clues about our values, our definition of life purpose, and our strengths.

• It allows us to reflect upon the period of time in our lives when we were likely the most honest with ourselves–as children!

• It provides a powerful foundation of experiences and accomplishments to draw upon when we’re faced with future challenges, and visions of the future to motivate us.

The following pictures illustrate me having “peak experiences” when I was younger–I went through a lot of old pictures as part of my self-assessment. Additionally, I include comments on how they helped me in my process.

The two pictures above motivated me to be honest with myself about how much I enjoy music, especially music composition. I had neglected this hobby for several years, thinking I could just “push it aside,” but it led to a great deal of frustration. When I rediscovered these pictures, it forced me to realize that music really has been a core part of my being since a very early age. Not too long afterwards, I enthusiastically created the space in our home for a small music studio. Additionally, this self-acknowledgment added to my observations that creativity and innovation are an important part of my life purpose.

I chuckled out loud when I rediscovered this Big Wheel picture, because it reinforced how much I’ve always enjoyed activities related to cycling and the outdoors. Additionally, it reminded me of the “exploratory adventure rides” I used to take with friends in a very nearby park–these weren’t so far removed from the cross-country bicycle trip I did many years later, right after college; or from the Southwestern slot canyon hike that my wife and I did just a few years ago. This assessment helped me to realize that I’m energized by activities that allow for a sense of adventure, discovery and learning–for me, life coaching provides a great deal of this! Also, it’s helped me to more consciously identify the types of activities that provide me with the greatest amount of “recharge.”

Related to the above exercises, I sometimes employ a conversation opener that generally leads to much more energetic conversations than, “So what do you do?” I often ask, “What do you most enjoy doing?” If the person pauses for too long, I add, “This may or may not include your current job.” This avoids lengthy conversations where someone rambles on about a job they strongly dislike, decreasing their own energy as well as that of everyone around them. Additionally, it provides a quick gateway to where a person’s passion and energy really lie, and may lead to a realization that changes their life. (Don’t underestimate this last piece!) Finally, it helps to whittle away our society’s tendency to place *too* much emphasis upon formal occupational titles as a primary factor of self-definition and status. Keep in mind that predefined job and occupation titles, while clearly useful for maintaining an organized society, may also squelch individuality and creativity if overused–in some cases, creating one’s own job or career may prove to be the most sensible option. I encourage you to give your own conversations a “refreshing twist” with this new technique!

References

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper Collins.

Elkin, B. (2003). Simplicity and Success. Trafford Publishing.

Ellis, D. & Lankowitz, S. (1995). Human Being: A Manual for Happiness, Health, Love and Wealth. Breakthrough Enterprises, Inc.

(C) Copyright Dave Wheitner, 2007